THE FIRST IMPLIED VIOLENCE SHOT-A-THON IS OVER. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE ARE DRUNK ON WHISKEY. THE CASH IS DEPOSITED. THE NUMBERS ARE IN. THE WINNER IS CLEAR.
THOMAS VINCENT CHAPEL IS THE SHOT-A-THON CHAMPION 2K9
Thank You Mister Chapel for your hard work pushing booze for charity. We love you.
Smooth Criminal
I am sitting now at the new Cupcake Royale on Capitol Hill. It is air conditioned, which, after six hours behind an espresso machine at my job in Madrona, feels fucking fantastic. There are so many people in here, just soaking up AC and calories.
I have purchased several bottles of Evan Williams Whiskey, which are sitting in a large brown bag at my feet. Nobody is coming to visit me and get more booze, which is a bad sign for the Implied Violence Shot-a-Thon. So I am posting the results of the second-week check-in/tally-up in hopes of inspiring more booze selling to the hot and hungry masses.
Shot-a-Thon Leaderboard Week Two
Expect many Shot-a-Thon Sponsors at Implied Violence’s first funding bash this weekend:
“No Friends Only Enemies” will have three bars, vagina punch, and whiskey shots. Straight Up!
Sir Evan Williams, Esquire
